Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Good Girls Don't Spit!

I spit when I run.
I am sorry if this offends you (as it apparently did a couple that was running in front of me during a 5K last fall.  They actually turned around and glared at me like I was grossing them out.  Maybe I was.)

Anyway, that's not my problem.  I mean, I guess it is a problem that this phlegm or whatever builds up when I'm really working hard on a run - but no more so than needing to pee or fart or blow my nose.  It's just one of those things.

No, my problem is that I don't know HOW to spit.  I was always taught that good girls don't spit in public, so my experience has been limited to spitting out toothpaste.   Today, during my run, I had to spit.  It was windy.  I bet you're smart enough to figure out what happened next!   I just can't seem to get any distance on my spitting.  I've hit my shoes, or had a whole spit-FAIL where I was left with a strand of saliva hanging from my lip that I ended up having to wipe off.

So today, I was running and wondering... how exactly do you learn to spit effectively?  Is this something I should just practice outside in my yard?  Should I make a habit of spitting during every training run whether I need to or not?  Are there any other female runners in this hemisphere that spit when they run?  Am I really as pathetic as I sound?

When I finished my run, my children were waiting on me.  They had finished their Taekwondo class and were running around playing near the tennis courts while their dad did his post-run stretches.  I ran up and my 6 year old daughter yelled - "Hey Mom!  Say something funny!" and then took a swig of water.  I knew what was coming.  Gracie had discovered the spit-take!

I said "You have a booger in your nose!" and she spit forth the water with all the gusto of a 14 year old boy! Then she did it again, and again and again - until Brian and I were sick of coming up with "funny" sayings and said "enough!"

And that's when it hit me.  The secret to learning how to spit!  Now all I need is a water bottle and "America's Funniest Home Videos" !!

Do you ever need to spit when you run? (please say I'm not the only one!)